Episode 9 – No Safety Net

This next song is about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it!

After dropping out of school, Kurt Cobain worked as a janitor in his own school. Toni Iommi worked in a metal factory and lost the tips of two fingers in a factory accident. Eddie Vedder worked at a petrol pump, Sting was a tax collector and a teacher; and believe it or not, Bon Scott was a postman!

Slash started his career with a single string flamenco guitar his grandmother gave him. Almost all rock musicians come from working class backgrounds. Hence they have the hunger and the anger to make it big. They know they have enormous talent; all they have to do is prove it to the world.

No artist would want to spend the rest of his life in a cubicle, living the same day for the rest of his life. Isn’t it soul crushing?

G.B Shaw said, “As for living, our servants can do it for us.”

So the point is- what makes a musician? I mean isn't it a shot in the dark? – Maybe you’ll make it, maybe you won’t. I think the sheer love of music is one important reason and the other equally important reason is – No Safety Net – you have nothing to fall back on, no securities, and no guarantees. Maybe that is how these guys surmounted obstacles-because they had no choice but to march forward- Veni, Vidi, Vici.

As Def Leppard say, “Only one thing is certain… … Nothing.”

P.S- Terry Reid said no to Jimmy Page’s offer to join Led Zepp as the vocalist – Opportunity giveth and you kicketh it away. 

    Episode 7- PALM EXPO India-2013.

How was Palm Expo 2013? To begin with, Loud and Noisy and Crowded!

 But how I enjoyed myself! 

And what do I have to say? The future of non-Bollywood music is BRIGHT. My theory is, let’s say 10000 people visited Palm Expo on any single day, out of those ten thousand, let’s say a 1000 are genuinely interested in playing music, out of those 1000 guys, there might be 10 really fantastic musicians. Now multiply 10 by 3 days, so you get 30 Top Level musicians, that is 5-6 top level bands. It’s a fool proof formula and a very promising ratio. There is a huge potential, so mamas and papas buy your son or daughter that electric guitar, drum-set or keyboards because that is the best investment you’ll ever make. There is a decent and a respectable living to be made in music. So, the more the merrier!

On a personal note, I got to try the new Gibson Les Paul Min-ETune. I was playing a Vox guitar at the Furtado’s booth- my mix of blues, rock and Hoolahan slide. Mr. Nick Aslin- the representative of Gibson USA heard my playing and told an assistant to hand me the Les Paul. He came over and explained the auto-tuning and other features of the guitar. I felt privileged and it was a wonderful experience.

The Gibson is a very friendly guitar. Usually I need time to get used to a new guitar but with the Gibson, it felt as if I had been playing the guitar for all my life (Oh how I wish!) It felt perfect. So if you have the money, (i.e. around Rs.90000) BUY IT NOW. The auto-tuning is an extremely useful feature, one press on a button and you have the tuning you want and need I say, it sounds AWESOME!

Episode 6- Nothing Else Matters

Waiting for that One Big Break takes a toll. Every musician dreams of life changing record deals and making the kind of music he loves. The only glitch- business-minded, money-lusting label heads. (The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away.) I mean, the Beatles were lucky to have Brian Epstein and George Martin, Led Zep was fortunate to have had Peter Grant- guys who stood by the band like the Great Wall of China!

What we need in India is an entire infrastructure to search and promote musicians belonging to different genres. The whole problem arises when trying to form a band, a rock band. I was talking to a singer and telling her about the phenomenon called Robert Plant. She dismissed my words with- “You should listen to Bruno Mars. He is so awesome.” So this is what I mean. In order to play a genre you should know the artistes of that genre. Now-a-days people download a song or two of XYZ band and claim to know everything about that artist and his music. How many people buy an album, light a candle, turn off the lights and lose themselves in the music? People are multi-taskers- who has time to sit down and listen to music? If nothing goes in, nothing comes out.

The decision was made for me when I was 13 years old and watched GNR’s 1992 Tokyo Dome Concert on VH1. This is what I want to do- Music that is empowering. The hideous people I've met, the discouragement I've got- nothing is going to stop me.

Nothing Else Matters!

P.S- Harper Valley PTA is the wackiest song I've ever heard.

  Episode 5- Low Notes

In my search to find a bassist, I've come across some real characters. I can laugh at it now, but spending 2 hours in the jam room with such guys was far from exciting. On one such occasion, I booked a jam room as my vocalist and I were to audition a bassist. The bassist entered, he was tall as a door and wide as a cupboard. He looked the part, now the important question - Can he play?

I asked the fellow to take a seat and listen to the OC we were to play. He replied haughtily, “I’m ok on my feet. You play! I’ll pick up.” Well, so we played our song and I watched him, he just stood there with his bass dangling around his neck. After the song was over, he looked at me and said, “Oh, this may take a while, I’ll sit down and think of something to play.” So he kept thinking and thinking and thinking… after an excruciatingly painful wait, he said, “ I've come up with something really awesome, you gonna dig it!” And then he played me my own guitar lines. I glanced at the singer, thinking where the hell on earth she had found this fellow. I explained, very slowly; to the bassist that he should play something parallel to the guitar parts and not simply copy my melody lines. He looked at me like a confused ox and bellowed, “You are playing all the wrong parts! Why don’t you come up with something new?” At that moment I realized it would be hopeless to argue with him. According to him, accompanying a guitarist meant stealing the guitar parts and then telling the guitarist to find something else to play.

Time dragged on. The vocalist and I rehearsed some old songs we had done and practiced two new ones while the bassist sat and wondered. He got up only when it was time to leave. While leaving he said, “Lemme know when the next jam is.” Well there was no next time; perhaps the sight of two PYTs had unnerved him. Such things happen!!!

Episode 3- Highway to Hell

Yesterday I had to take my Vox AC4TV tube amp to a South Bombay music store for some servicing. Because the amp is so dear to me, I decided to take it by taxi. I was comforted to see that the taxi driver was an elderly, venerable looking man and so my mom, who accompanied me, and I were relaxed as we believed that he would drive extra safely. However we were in for a shock when the 70 plus fellow went from 0 to 60 in two seconds! And so my ride on the Highway to Hell had begun…

 On the highway, the crazy cab driver went zipping and zooming past every vehicle. He kept honking frantically at bikes, cars, buses and gigantic trucks! My mom asked him to slow down but all in vain. After nearly one hour we were in the city. I gave a sigh of relief thinking that the city traffic will compel him to drive slowly but that didn't stop our wild man. It was like the RHCP video ‘By the Way.’

Now that we were in the city this guy was not deterred by narrow and congested lanes. We were nearly rammed by buses on two occasions when he jumped signals. When we told him to be careful he nodded his head and gave a smile. Maybe he was senile or partially blind or in a terribly bad mood.

This atrocious driving was an eye opener. And to think I have to spend another 20-30 years of my music career, with my life in the hands of drivers who may be high on drugs or booze or god knows what!

Well, this is the life I've chosen and I’ll take my chances!

Episode 2 - Bloody Nonsense

One good thing came of the shock treatment- I've started thinking hard. I met a guy just returned from a well acclaimed guitar institute abroad. During the course of the conversation he said, “Oh, those guys are good. It’s in their blood.” Asked to explain, he continued, “See, try to cover Angus Young and you’ll find you can’t play a chord the way he does.”

My Scorpio blood began to boil. “But why” I asked, “should one always forever try to cover Angus Young or Brian May or Kurt Cobain?”  I mean, I worship these guys, but why can’t we have more heroes of our own? Like Rudy Wallang.

I think we've got this cement concrete in our heads- we’re never gonna be as good as them. Rock/Metal is never gonna have a future in India. Bullshit!!!

Why not say, “We’ll rule the world!” That attitude drives South Korea, Japan, and China. Tinariwen has that attitude. 

After all, the sound of music is all about ‘I have confidence in me!’ \m/

  Cable Trouble

I never understood why rockers wear rubber soled shoes. I used to think they were ugly with all those thick laces but experience is the best teacher they say and this is how I found out…

I was invited for an open mic gig for one of the leading music stores in India. It was an honour and so even though it was really far away and I had to spend my precious money on taxi fare, I went there with a song on my lips and joy in my heart. 

I was to perform at 7pm and the sound check was at 6 o’clock. Since the place was really far away from my place and traffic jams are a daily part of life, I started out at 4 o’clock.

I really enjoy sound checks; it is a great time to understand how you sound live and to know how good the other guys are. It is also an opportunity to make friends (especially with the sound techs). I was the first one for the sound check but my enthusiasm landed me in shocking trouble. It was an experience I’ll always remember with fear and trembling. The hell of a genius guy who was in charge of operations gave me a thumbs up and with an idiotic grin on his face yelled, “Connect your guitar now.”  So, like the obedient girl I am, I picked up the cable and then all I remember is ‘Whooooooooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.’ It was so bizarre! I just held on to my guitar and let the cable go. For a few minutes everything was a blur, I could hear my teeth knocking and my fingers and my toes were tingling, my hands felt numb. This was repeated THREE times! The manager and staff members came rushing. Apparently, they did not have a trained electrician and so had severe earthing issues. I had come a long way to go back without playing, so I did my thing.

Later that night, the family doctor said, “You’re lucky, it could have been serious.”